Relocation is a common reality for many Australian Defence Force (ADF) families and while moving is challenging for everyone, children often find it harder to adjust. Former Defence mum and founder of DefenceKidz Hayley Boswell understands this all too well, with first-hand experience in relocating a growing family. Below, she shares her tips and insights for supporting children through the posting process.
How have you maintained stability for your children during relocations?
Maintaining stability for children during moves involves keeping certain constants in their lives. This includes family routines such as mealtimes, bedtime rituals, and family activities.
Staying connected with extended family and friends through video calls and visits is also crucial. Additionally, involving children in the moving process, like helping them pack and choose their new rooms, gives them a sense of control and comfort.
What has been the hardest thing to overcome?
The hardest part was the disruption of social ties and routines. To overcome this, we focused on quickly building a supportive community in the new location. We participated in local events, joined clubs, and got involved in school and childcare activities. Maintaining open communication within the family to discuss feelings and challenges also helped us settle quickly and thrive in the new location.
What resources do parents needs during deployment?
Parents need a strong support network that includes family, friends, and community resources. Access to counselling services for both children and spouses is important. Educational resources, such as books, help children understand the importance of their parent’s work and why relocating is necessary.
Through our DefenceKidz books, we encourage parents to record themselves reading our stories. This way, children can playback these videos when missing their loved ones. Using technology to maintain regular communication with the deployed parent provides emotional stability.
The Defence Member Family Support (DMFS) family booklet is also an essential guide for families.
How can the transition to a new home be more seamless for families?
Pre-planning and organising the move can make transitions smoother. Researching the new location ahead of time, such as schools, healthcare facilities, and recreational activities, helps reduce uncertainty. Setting up children’s rooms first upon arrival provides them with a sense of security. Connecting with other military families who have moved to the same area can also provide support and valuable insights.
Do you have any packing tips?
When packing, it’s helpful to label boxes clearly with their contents and the room they belong to. Create an essentials box with items you’ll need immediately, such as toiletries, a change of clothes, important documents, and some basic kitchen supplies. Using colour-coded labels for each room can make unpacking more organised. Ensure that important documents and items of financial and emotional value are transported with you to prevent loss. Finally, decluttering before the move can save time and effort.
What advice do you have to help children move?
To help children transition, involve them in the process by visiting the new area ahead of the move if possible. Talk positively about the new opportunities and experiences they’ll have. Encourage them to keep in touch with old friends while making new ones by joining clubs or sports teams. Being proactive in meeting new neighbours and organising playdates can also help children form new friendships. Informing the new school that you are a military family is beneficial, as there may be a Defence School
Mentor who can assist with the transition.
Navigating the challenges of frequent relocations can be daunting but with the right strategies and support, it can also be rewarding. Hayley’s experiences and advice provide valuable guidance for any family navigating the complexities of moving within the ADF.
For further support, Hayley suggests joining programs designed for children in Defence, such as Kookaburra Kids, Mates4Mates, Legacy, or programs run by Defence Member and Family Support (DMFS). These programs aim to maintain stability and foster resilience in children during these transitions. By leveraging community resources and maintaining open lines of communication, ADF families can thrive in their new environments and turn each move into a positive adventure.
